Chris ‘The Walrus’ Sloane

It is scarcely known that Chris only signed for CPR after a typo in an email from Si Jacobs to Stu in which he mentioned an incredible, 6ft blonde showstopper who wanted to come along to training. Since then, despite a right knee shakier than Elvis on a wobble-board, Sloaney has defined his CPR career with a series of remarkable saves, cat-like reactions and robust shouts of encouragement. Slipping into the gloves of CPR legends such as Budgie and Big Donnie is no easy task, but Sloaney has proved himself to be more than worthy, with an outstanding individual performance against Racing Chiswick that go down as one of the finest in CPR history. The fact that Jacobs did not rifle ‘a clearance’ at him from 35 yards played no small part in this.

Some facts about sloanes:

- They are immediately recognized by their prominent tusks, whiskers and great bulk.

- Adult male sloanes can weigh up to 2,000 kilograms (4,400 lb) and are exceeded in size only by the elephant seal (Paulus Pepperus).

- It is a relatively long-lived, social animal.

If he were a drink he’d be a…
Pint of London Pride – Premium ale welcome in almost every pub in the land. Reliable, refreshing and no nonsense – an ideal session strength beverage.