Line-up (4-4-2)
Sloane; Jacobs, Moore (Butt 65), Newman, Sam (Waite 45); O’Toole, Pratt, Littlechild, Fribence (Cozzolino75); Walsh, Kuzcynski

Referee: Frank Spencer

CPR’s brief, undefeated, clean-sheeted run came to an argumentative and disappointing end, following a tough game against a highly skilled Sevenths side. As the score suggests, it was a close game, but the drama of the previous encounter was not to be repeated, as CPR’s continued second half presence in Sevenths’ territory, lead to a breakaway goal for the reds, rather than an equaliser for the whites.

The pre-match ritual was once again the victim of the unknown. The officious Neville Smith had cancelled at the eleventh hour; a precious player was plundered into pesky plumbing problems; injury niggles ran rife across the squad; and the captain arrived with his shorts seemingly covered in faeces. (Creosote apparently. Definitely NOT Oreo cookies.)

Still, as always, when the clock struck 1.30pm there were 11 CPR players resplendent in crisp vinegar-white shirts, ready for action. And, wouldn’t you know it, the Sevenths’ crafty scouse skipper had sourced us a ref – although presumably not off the back of a lorry.

there were 11 CPR players resplendent in crisp vinegar-white shirts, ready for action

From the very beginning it was clear this was an improved Sevenths team from the one CPR faced on that sunny September afternoon that will soon be etched in the minds of the Moore grandchildren. Their centre midfield played quick, skilled passes, and the back line showed calm assured touches and passes. But despite this, CPR held their own, and it became clear the Sevenths had one game plan – get it to ‘flick on’ Foley up front.

The CPR defence held firm. The confidence among the back line has been flying of late spearheaded by the bald eagle-esque Newman. And with the cockatoo haired Scotty, the ostrich paced Sam and the bearded tit Jacobs beside him, there seemed nothing in the Sevenths attack that could shoot them to earth.

Despite holding off the Sevenths well, and, indeed forging some fine attacking passing themselves, CPR fell victim to a sloppy error. As the ball was swung in from the left, a Sevenths man did wonders to keep it in far of the back post, and direct it to the danger area. The red striker pounced whilst a comatose defence gazed on. Sloaney, being called into action for the first time in the half, had no chance, and the striker slotted home.

The remainder of the half was largely forgettable, but there were flashes of inspiration from CPR – nice flicks-ons and chest-downs from Walshy, the odd one-two passing triangle, and a straight pass from Scotty.

Half time: Clissold Park Rangers 0, The Sevenths 1

Waitey and Steve the personification of strength; Scotty and Jacobs the definition of simple

Capt Peppers brought in the experienced Waitey for the limping Sam, and shuffled the defence slightly. The idea was to keep it strong and simple at the back – Waitey and Steve being the very personification of strength; Scotty and Jacobs the very definition of simple.

CPR’s second half performance showed far more attacking enterprise as they set about seeking an equaliser. Stu and Walshy, so often used to playing with each other off the field, finally began to show signs of being able to play with each other on it. Terry n’Tooley were attacking the flanks well, and the centre midfield duo were winning some of the key battles they’d lost in the first 45. The introduction of Damian added fresh impetus late on, and, Saif, although beaten by Jacobs in the beard growing stakes, was not going to be beaten to the ball by any clean shaven Sevenths man.

However, the second half will most likely be remembered for the refereeing. Or lack thereof. It is not this match reporter’s place to preach on who was right or wrong; which side behaved worst; or indeed whether the ref’s decisions were correct or not. However, no one, not neither team nor referee left Victoria Park without blame. Both teams were guilty of excessive moaning and arguing back, culminating in the colonial Waite potentially being reported to the league – maybe referee standards are higher in New Zealand?

And the referee, well, I imagine if you gave him a simple task such as cooking some carrots, he’d even lose control of that and let them boil over into an ugly and unnecessary mess. He had the spine of a jellyfish and the authority of a goose. Now no one likes to see cards dished out without thought, but surely a few careful words or even a quick flash of his yellow to the protagonists from both teams would have calmed the stormy waters. But he remained about as useful as a sub-prime backed CDO in a liquidity squeeze.

And it was after a frustratingly long stoppage that the Sevenths team broke away and scored their second goal. CPR pressed for the final minutes, and Walshy tapped in a consolation goal from a Stu corner in the dying seconds. But it was too little too late.

So more precious points dropped. There was enough in the performance to show it’s not time to press the panic button. But if there is a button marked ‘Stop the moaning and start sweating blood and tears for the team’ then surely Capt Peppers’ right index is firmly on it.

Final score: CPR 1, The Sevenths 2

Match Reporter: Rich Littlechild