Line-up (5-3-2)
Andrews; Evans, Rogers, Johnston, Moore, Eyre; O’Toole, Smith (Gower, 65), Littlechild; Kuczynski, Butt (Tejada, 80)

Merde. After one of their best performances of the year CPR lost out to French rivals Mavericks. A hat-trick by the long-legged Maverick centre forward put paid to a stirring comeback from CPR which saw them take the lead midway through the second half.

Any Entente Cordial that may have existed between the two sides was torn up before the game by a tub thumping captain’s speech by Danny ‘Horatio’ Rogers.

While Danny exhorted that England expected every man to do his duty (and arrive an hour before kick off please), Evo attempted to bribe the referee with an offer of an engine for his old bicycle. With pre-match prepartions complete CPR kicked off confident they could notch up their first points of the season.

The game started brightly for CPR who welcomed back Big Grey (nee Gay) Al from injury and goalkeeping legend Budgie from the antique fishing tackle fair. Budge was quick to show he’d lost none of his reflexes. Early on he saved to his left with a telescopic left leg after the striker had sent the rest of his body the wrong way. Shortly afterwards Budge blocked another point-blank shot by the Mavericks number 15, who had lost his marker to connect with a free kick dollied into the six yard box.

But CPR were also making chances and had as much of the possession in the early stages. Scott came close with a header and some neat build-up play down the channels led to teasing crosses from Saif and Stuart. However, with only three men in midfield CPR struggled to get people into the box to convert the chances. The intervention of a third centre-forward in the mould of the retired goal hogger Chris Davis could have made the difference.

Unfortunately CPR’s good work came to nowt and after half an hour Mavericks scored a freak goal. Ok it was a fantastic goal, but never likely to be repeated again by the lanky striker. He looked more surprised than anyone that his speculative volley had found the bottom corner of the net just beyond Budgie’s outstretched fingers.

Undaunted CPR knuckled down, and with the encouragement of a particularly vocal Jim and Evo, forced a free kick on the edge of the box. Stuart’s resultant shot beat the keeper all ends up, but the ball crashed off the crossbar to safety. Still it was an encouraging end to the first half and CPR left the field with their tails up.

Half-time: CPR 0, Mavericks 1

The second half continued in the same vein and CPR looked purposeful going forward and tight in defence. Horatio won everything in the air and Paul looked as solid as a particularly solid stick of Pepparami. Scott filled in the gaps, and managed to threaten the Mavericks goal on more than one occasion.

The game was marred somewhat by some hilarious theatrics by the Maverick players who seemed to crumple at the merest whiff of a CPR challenge. Jim was on the receiving end of some particularly petulant play-acting and he nearly responded in the best possible way when he narrowly failed to convert Danny’s headed cross 10 minutes into the second half. Jim was unlucky not to win a penalty as he was bundled into the net by two Bleus just as he was about to nod home.

Justice was finally done midway through the second half when Stuart latched onto a long pass down the right and using his customary quicksilver pace calmly rounded the keeper to score. CPR heads were up, and a first victory was in the air. Unbelievably they went ahead two minutes later when Peppers hit a 45-yard, lobbed shot over the French keeper. Paul’s jig off delight said it all – CPR were staring victory in the face.

But not for the first time this season, concentration slipped, and CPR threw a promising situation away. Five minutes after Paul’s goal Mavericks were level. The centre forward found himself in a one-on-one with marker Danny. His pace took him round Oak, and he bore down on John’s goal from the left. As he was about to let fly he was brought down in a last-ditch tackle which Danny could do little about. There was no complaint from CPR.

The penalty was tucked away, and the game went into the final quarter all-square. CPR could have still won the game, but would have settled for a hard-won point. Unfortunately it wasn’t to be, and with five minutes to go CPR were undone by a horrible looping header that had the same unsavable trajectory as Paul’s equaliser.

It was a horrible way to lose the game and to rub salt into the wounds the Mavericks striker completed his hat-trick in the final minutes to seal a two-goal victory.

As downheartening as the result was, CPR can be satisfied with much of their play. There’s plenty of talent in the squad, certainly enough for the team to avoid relegation, and John and Richard in midfield have the guile to craft chances for the forwards. 2006 should see a reversal of fortune for the team, and as Jim said in his summing up in the changing room, at least we don’t have fullbacks with “F***ing fluffy French hair”.

Final score: CPR 2, Mavericks 4

Match Reporter: Alex Smith