|
Goals aplenty, bone-crunching tackles, torrential rain and blazing sunshine. Not mention nutters at Dagnente, hide-and-seek, and the Player of the Year plummeting into a ditch - was this the weirdest tour yet ?? Read the day-by-day accounts and the match reports below.
Thursday started off well. Everyone arrived at Stansted on time (except Al of course). Big Steve and Simo were on fine form - despite their Teddy Sheringham-style 4am West End nightclub pre-tour preparation - stalking innocent women with their usual gusto. And as the boys queued for check in, they felt they could take on the world. Their pride was about to take a knock...
First came the Go check-in bird. Hugely unimpressed with CPR's macho demeanour, she proceeded to accuse the team of being girls. "Where is Alexandra Smith?" she called, then 'Danielle Rogers'. She was just about to call 'Pauline Dawson', when she saw Daws' glowering look and thought better of it.
Cowed, the team headed towards the plane, hiding behind the tough figure of 'big' Jon Murray. When they got on board the boys were met by a huge skinhead who accused Jon of being 'in my bloody seat!' Fortunately Jon flashed his Millwall tattoo and the gorilla scuttled off furtively.
"15 minutes to landing..." said the Captain and the Inglesi lay back and dreamed of a balmy summer's evening in Milano. Then the storm hit the plane, which suddenly lurched horribly. On the ground the taxi driver cheerfully told his passengers that he had never seen so much water in 40 years living in Milan and that the forecast for the next few days was "multo raining signor."
John was in good spirits and tried to cheer everyone up by joking about it being "worse than England" only to get a venomous look and a curt reply from Il Cabbie that he should keep his thoughts to himself, stop playing with the bloody electric window, and something about a horse's head...
At least the Bolzano was the usual friendly haven. Signor 'Pussy' managed to pull out the only 4-bed (well three and a camp bed) room in the hotel and gleefully told Dan that he was in a room with Steve and Simo and it had a double bed! Garry came in to cheer Dan up, though, by telling him he would be made captain for the evening's game.
The cosmopolitan CPR then headed off to the corner cafe to point confusingly at sandwiches, shout loudly in English at waiters and genuinely disrupt la dolce vita.
With Big Cyril banged up after that botched bank job last year, the team was without van and forced to get the tube to the outskirts of Milano and await lifts. The boys killed their time leching at local talent and threatening to "go on the beers and smash up a bar" until the big, black, mafioso cars of Don Pepe Djavidnia and Razor Danieli appeared.
Gibson FC vs CPR
The big Anglo-Italian cup match had its usual intense atmosphere. As usual the Italians drew first blood by outsinging the Inglesi and our dirge-like national anthem.
In the pre-match team talk Dan asked the team for total commitment and aggression, and CPR delivered with interest. Gibson didn't know what had hit them as CPR's midfield and fowards piled into the their defenders, giving them no time to play their superior technical game. The pressure soon paid off with a CPR corner to the near post where Andi Danieli bundled the ball into the net.
Alex and Jason were proving a powerful engine room in midfield and Steve's fearsome runs at the defence were causing Gibson all sorts of problems. Eventually he found space on the right and bore down on the keeper. As his colleagues winced at the piledriver shot about to be unleashed, big Steve suprised everyone by delicately chipping the goalie and the ball wafted in to make it 2-0.
Their national pride at stake, Gibson hit back with some impressive forward play. A throw in found their No 9 in the middle of the box, who managed to spin Dan and strike a vicious shot which John could only push into the net.
As Gibson sought the equaliser, the midfield battle became fierce with some rash challenges - the worst of all, of course, coming from Dan who poleaxed Gibson's central midfielder.
CPR increased their lead after some sterling work from Samy on the right. Djavidnia beat two players and pulled the ball back into the box where Teo blasted it past the keeper - 3-1.
Uncharacteristically, CPR continued the pressure in the second half and an early corner saw a fantastic diving header by Big Al spin into the corner of the net - 4-1.
Gibson hit back with their own headed corner before Ken C wrapped it up with a fine goal, coming into to meet a trademark long Steve Newman throw at the far post - 5-2.
CPR were on top the world, beating Gibson at home for the first time in four visits to Italy and carrying off the huge Anglo-Italian cup. It was a CPR performance to savour.
After the game, the traditional barbeque, cheap vino and dodgy grappa tasted better than ever and club captain Garry proudly presented the Negrelli groundsman with a team photo. Al became the first CPR player to encounter female company on the tour. Unfortunately she was 60 and told him to "put some weight on". CPR's man of the match found solace in a particularly large grappa.
The boys retired to a fine pub on the edge of town to relive their victory. While most of the team quaffed cold pints of Heineken and Guinness. Stevie and Simo insisted on some dangerous local cocktails and began chatting up the local totty. Imagine Simon's surprise then, when a still-grappa'd-up Alex steamed in to chat up the bird he had been warming up.While most of the team retired early, Steve, Simon and Alex, went on a unrequited beer and smut-riding hunt with two girls. Some things, it seems, never change.
| 
